The SINGLE GREATEST Threat to Your Academic Health

As second semester approaches, teachers and administrators attempt to control intermittent outbreaks of senioritis around the school.

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Arjun Deepak, Bear Hub Staff

Senioritis is a common disease contracted by teens ages seventeen to eighteen during the second semester of their senior year. Symptoms include excessive absences, chronic memory loss of what time the first period starts, and an extreme phobia of any work.

Symptoms can start appearing as early as freshman year, however, a diagnosis of the condition only happens during the second semester of senior year. In rare cases, a doctor may diagnose senioritis after a positive Early Action or Early Decision result comes in.

Decades of research have been put into discovery a cure for senioritis but alas, there has been little to no success. Some researchers have found success with treatments such as senior exemption to attempt to increase the low motivation of patients. The results have been mixed.

I asked Advanced Placement Biology teacher, Mrs.Sanelli, what her thoughts on the disease.

Q: When is the earliest you’ve seen a student with symptoms of senioritis?
A: First-quarter of senior year.

Q: What preventative measures should students take to prevent contracting senioritis?
A: Just working. Realize that the grades you get will follow you and a school will ask for the second-semester grades, including Rutgers.

Q: What should students who have contracted senioritis do?
A: Be an adult and live up to their responsibilities. When you have a real job like I don’t know a nurse, you can’t just get nurse-itis and stop working. You can take care of your responsibilities.

If you or your loved ones are showing symptoms of senioritis, please consult the school nurse for an ice pack.